The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
