some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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