if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
