We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So many bounce houses so little time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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