Apparently you make a good broom.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
