When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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