I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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