we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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