I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
