I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
