literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think a kid would responsible me up
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
