i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
