i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
