YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
