my mouth tastes like poor choices
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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