You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
