I smell stomach acid.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
