if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
