Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize