You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
