i was born a porn star she said
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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