I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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