Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You took a bar mat shot.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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