i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
