stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
