he shaved USA in his pubs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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