he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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