I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
