he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
