Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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