So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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