some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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