ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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