My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
