Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
