I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
