I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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