Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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