and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
