I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
