also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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