the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
