I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
