he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
