it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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