I puked a lego.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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