garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
