I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
