Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
