dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
