I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize