Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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